About Therapy
I know you’re looking for answers…
You’re tired of feeling out of control and unsure how to fix this situation. You hide the desperation, loneliness, and discontentment to save face with extended family members, friends, and co-workers. Yet, you can’t continue this charade forever, and it’s sucking the life out of you.
You’ve tried to change things on your own, but it’s either not worked or backfired. The people you’ve confided in have already formed their own opinions, so they can’t entirely understand your viewpoint. While the solutions they offer might work for their lives, they don’t work for you.
There was a time in your life when you had the confidence to trust your gut and make concise decisions. Unfortunately, you’ve had some experiences that eroded that confidence. You desperately want to get that confidence back but don’t know how.
What you do know is that you feel you are on a sinking ship, and you either have to fix it or construct a life raft. Fast.
You need someone who will truly listen without judgment or preconceived ideas. Someone who will take the time to understand your unique situation. Someone who respects your priorities and viewpoint. You need someone who can help you find your true self, so you can restore your confidence and make decisions that are right for you.
This is what I do.
I look at problems, not from my perspective but yours.
This is the path to discover the solutions that work for your unique situation. Your basic presenting problems are often the same as many other clients I help, but the key is understanding your true self so that the solutions are unique to you.
You probably can’t help but have questions, too.
How does this person know about what will work for me?
Each person is the expert of their lives. It’s just – sometimes – they lose confidence that they know what they want and how to get there by second-guessing themselves. I believe that deep down, you have the strengths and resources to figure out what will work for you. You just have to know what questions to ask yourself and what outcomes you expect. Once you overcome self-doubt, we can unlock those solutions.
What does therapy look like?
Therapy with me is answering lots of questions. Some are easy, and others are harder. The questions I ask piece together exactly what is important to you and what you truly want in life. The information we glean from your answers shines a light on your true self. I then teach you how to take this information to envision what steps you would take to get that life. All the steps come from your perspective and are determined by you.
Will it be worth the cost?
We often look at therapy as a luxury, like a steak dinner, for those who can afford it. But it’s really not. Therapy is nourishment for your self-esteem and helps you grow toward self-actualization. It should be treated as a necessity. It’s an investment that will not only pay off right now, but in the future as you will find solutions that work effectively. I want to put myself out of work by teaching you the tools I use with clients every day.
Let me give you a general idea of what it will be like working together…
In the beginning…
In the first session, I ask many questions about you, your situation, and what you wish were different. We start wherever you want. There’s no specific order – no right way or any wrong answers.
Feel free to ask me any questions that come to your mind, personal or not. While the therapy is about you, I want you to feel comfortable about me, too.
I’ll ask a lot of questions, but few will delve into your emotions, childhood traumas, or horrible experiences. If you want to share them because you feel they’re an important part of your journey, then you should! However, it’s not a required part of my process.
During the journey…
In subsequent sessions, we get down to work. My approach is brief, meaning we find solutions that work for your unique situation FAST!
We will delve into what you want your life to look like and how to get there. I know, I know: If you knew that, you wouldn’t be reading this! But, I know the questions to ask to unlock those answers.
Then, you may choose to try some experiments based on your answers. It’s possible that your making slight changes will cause huge transformations in a short time.
As I guide you, you’ll be the expert on your problem. I know you have the knowledge and resources to come up with the solutions.
We can do this… together!
What you get in the end…
I hope you learn the right questions to ask yourself – not only to solve the problems that brought you into therapy, but also to solve problems bound to pop up in the future.
If I do my job right, you will take what we learned together and apply it to any issue. My goal is to empower you to become your own agent of change. Instead of having to go back to therapy to fix a new problem in the future, I hope you can solve it yourself (or just need a single refresher session).
Not only will you be able to regain control of your destiny and live the life you want and deserve, but you will also inadvertently change the people around you. By making those small changes in your life to obtain your best hopes, others notice the difference and look at you in a new way changing how they treat you.
I know that asking for help isn’t easy.
It’s not always easy finding the right fit.
Finding someone who doesn’t already have preconceived notions of your problem and who will not only actually listen to your viewpoint, but respect your position is hard to find. You need acceptance and understanding. You may think you just want someone else to tell you how to fix your life but when suggestions are offered… they just don’t fit. This is why I am more a guide than a leader.
The therapeutic relationship is the bedrock of the process. If you don’t have a trusting, respectful relationship with me, not much will get done.
This is why I offer a free 30-minute phone call. We talk a bit about your problem and what kind of work I think we need to do. In this conversation, we each see if we are a good fit. I never take it personally if you don’t feel that we “click.”
Plus, talking about “feelings” doesn’t sound all that fun.
Everyone has that picture in their heads about going to a therapist’s office, lying on a couch, and having to re-live painful, embarrassing, or traumatic memories that generate feelings to be processed to overcome problems. My methods are a little different. Our work together will primarily focus on your strengths, resources, and future. So, unless that’s a process you feel will help obtain your best hopes for therapy, we can use a different process that doesn’t delve into the past.
Also, it’s not cheap.
I get that therapy is another expense that needs to fit into your budget. However, therapy is like an investment, just like a class. In working with me, you learn skills you take with you and apply them to future problems.
It is my best hope from working together that I can teach you the questions to ask and tools that you can use throughout your own life. In applying these tools, you may teach others (like your kids) through modeling how to find solutions to their problems. This ability builds confidence in yourself. When you are sure of yourself, it positively affects those around you. Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself.
We all have thoughts in our heads that second-guess taking the next step to ask for help. I implore you not to allow those second thoughts to stop you from trusting your gut. You’re here looking for a way to find answers to your problems. You’re on the right path, and you know it.
I may not be the therapist for you, but how will you know if you don’t try. If I’m not the right therapist for you, I might know someone whose specialties fit you perfectly. Small steps may lead to huge transformations. Take this first small step and give me a call.
About Me
I’ve had my issues, so I know what it’s like on the client’s side.
Yup, I’ve gone through my journey of therapy. I was bullied as a child, and I suffered from depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem into adulthood. All my relationships suffered due to my problems, which were often compounded by their problems.
I’ve experienced the pain of divorce. I was a single mom and made parenting mistakes. For a long time, I wandered through life looking for “my purpose,” not liking my job and feeling like I was just going through the motions.
My first therapy experience was as an adolescent to help deal with my low self-esteem. I realized then that I didn’t have to accept a label I was given and had the power to create my own identity. When my first marriage was failing, my husband and I sought couples therapy. It was then I realized that I was not a failure because I could not change someone else, and my marriage didn’t define me. Those old feelings of low self-esteem came back to haunt me. While this therapist helped, I ultimately felt as though I could not stay in the marriage and started down a new path.
I’ve had my problems, but I’ve also had triumphs.
I decided to go to college as my son started high school, and I went back to therapy after I decided to file for divorce (and took it seriously). However, this therapist’s approach was a little different. This counselor continued to help me find my true self and taught me the questions I needed to know the answers to achieve the life I wanted.
I regained my confidence after realizing that there were things I was doing right. One of the things I learned about myself is that I was driven to be independent. I was a hard worker, a parent, family member, and friend that could be depended on, a person who had a knack for listening and the ability to understand many perspectives while truly respecting others’ differences. I worked on doing these things more mindfully. I also took a hard look at the things that weren’t working for me and made a pointed decision to make some changes – taking small steps that didn’t seem too overwhelming because of questions prompted by my therapist but answered by me.
I found the solutions to my problems with the help of the right therapist and the right questions. With lots of education, training, and experience, I can help you discover your solutions, too.
Education and experience…
While I worked full-time, I earned my master’s degree from Capella University and became a Marriage and Family Therapist.
Through supervision and professional groups, I am always continuing my education to stay current on discoveries, methods, and techniques. I am supervised by Karol Wendt, MSW, LMFT, LSCW, who studied under Steve de Shazer, Kim Insoo Berg, and other world-renowned solution-focused family therapists.
I am a certified Solution-Focused Brief Therapist (SFBT) but also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) if they better fit your needs as a client.
When I’m not doing therapy…
I am now happily married to a man who is a partner to me. My son is an adult already and has blessed me with an amazing daughter-in-law and two grandchildren. I don’t feel old enough to be a grandma, but I am happily reminded that I am whenever I get on the floor to play!
My son, my dad, and I all love cooking and often sharing meals and swap recipes. We try new recipes on each other. It’s a laugh for my son and me because my dad is a “meat and potatoes” guy, but he’s trying out new foods to be a good model for his grandbabies. My mom thinks this is hilarious.
I love to be outside whenever I can and often hike with my three-legged dog, Mango, and read with my cats, Kiki and Tigua, snuggling with me.
Here’re Mango, Kiki (she’s the black and white one), and Tigua. They often lay on this sofa in my home office during therapy sessions. Mango’s wishing I wasn’t working in this picture!
Finally, I love to travel and experience new things that push me out of my comfort zone. My current hubs likes to scuba dive and wanted a “dive buddy.” So, I needed to overcome my claustrophobia and took dive lessons with the open water test in the beautiful British Virgin Islands. I now absolutely love it but still struggle to go through shipwrecks and caves – and don’t really like night diving. It’s a work in progress!
I like to learn about culture through food, so while in Mexico, a friend of a friend took me to her grandmother’s home and taught me some new amazing and authentic recipes. I now know what tripe is and what it tastes like (I’ll stick with chicken :-D).
Right now, whether or not you realize it…
… you are already taking a small step toward your best hopes by searching for therapists and gathering information.
What will tomorrow look like?
You could feel as though you are taking the second small step to obtain your best hopes because today you made a call. Maybe we set up a free 30-minute consultation call to see if we’re a good fit. Perhaps, when you call, we had the time to talk right away (that happens!). Continue on your current path of making real changes by getting some answers.
Small steps can lead to big transformations. Take another small step and call me today: (262) 674-7009!